My Story Ch 11: To My Blood Clot Daughters Growing Within My Wound

To My Fallen Born Angels

To my fallen born angels, who grew in my womb as a blood clot. You must have faith in Allah to receive His great gifts. Avoid following the wrongdoings or paths of your evil sperm donor vessels, as they lack such power and do not comprehend Allah's words. I am here to learn in the name of Allah, to cease all sin, as they should too. I wish for you all to have eternal life on earth, not to die repeatedly, as I did. Tormented by your kin and enemies; they do not understand Allah's words, I must distance myself from the wicked jinn, drunken kin, and those who do not believe in Allah, as it will cause me to sin just like they sin.

My First-Born Child Angelique

(Angelique Angelic Angel) Guardian and Knower of Animals: Do not let anyone mislead you, for you are truly remarkable. The deep scars on your arms are visible, just like mine, from my egg-vessel donor. Do not allow evil to enter through your family or the drunkard ones. You are the future generation destined to bring change; you will understand once you open your heart to Allah. You were raised by my egg-vessel donor, you know the true nature of evil. You have shielded yourself from pain, as I have, as we cried for each other and endured so much suffering on Allah's land. As we lie in our beds, never quite at peace; we were not meant to sleep, eat, drink, but to feel the emotions of others surround us, on Earth.

Similar to Prophet Jesus Christ, we seek to atone for our sins of associating with earthly beings. We recognize our connection to Allah's creations and the scientific knowledge of the universe, which we deeply appreciate. You were led to believe, that I was one of them, the drunkard ones, and my malevolent stepsister, which angelic blood does not flow through her veins as it does in mine. Her roots are considered wickedness, counted among the sinful, never truly repenting, but rather sowing chaos on Earth for wealth and greed.

Angelique, the angelic one, you are part of me, unique in your own ways. A fallen angel, as your name is Angelique, the angelic angel.           

Adrian, Angelique, Alianna, and Lily the Artist

You are my talented artist for a reason; you use your talent to show earth dwellers that Allah does exist, Adrian. Show earth dwellers what paradise on earth should look like, as you are the one to give earth dwellers images, as they need them to believe, repent, and give their hearts to Allah. For everlasting life will be given to them. Every vivid dream you have, you draw, as this is very important, and you will understand why by reading my books. I gave you all this talent for a reason; you will see this reason yourself, but you have to earn it and believe in Allah. Do not follow evil dwellers, as if you do, you will lose your precious gifts. I repented, and I’m staying away from sin, as I’m an apostle and a prophet. My gifts are restored, as long as I stay away from my kin, drunkard ones, and the evil ones.

Ali, Alianna Allah the Punisher of Smite

Alianna, please let go of any negativity within you. You are a smart and bright little angel, and I love you more than you realize, even though you dislike me for no apparent reason. I have created a shrine in your honor, celebrating all your good deeds on Earth, hoping Allah forgives you for your transgressions. You have wronged me by slandering my name a believer of Allah, spreading lies and deceit through your actions involving Mount Horeb Police Station and Jamie Carlson. You attempted to make me lose my children to someone like Cane, knowing this is a small, predominantly white town with racist tendencies, and they never wanted us here to begin with. Yet, you still chose to break my heart with your actions against me, especially considering I have Temporal Lobe Seizures causing epilepsy, similar to that of the Apostles and Prophets.

Secondly, you attempted to turn my son against me, instructing him to harm me with a knife; my children can attest to this, and I informed the police, who did nothing because you were aiding them in concealing their mistakes along with your own. You falsely accused me of giving my son pills; despite knowing he had only taken one pill for most of his life until he was properly diagnosed. You did all of this due to some racist officers not adhering to authority. You did this to support Chief Joshua Jarvis in perpetuating the falsehood of overdosing my children and leaving me in a diabetic coma, unaware that Child Protective Services truly knows the reality of the truth. You contributed to my son being unjustly removed from my home with your lies, aware of the involvement of the police, University of Wisconsin, Journey Mental Health, Jamie Carlson, my egg donor Ann Mcmiller, judicial authority. Causing me pain, despair and showing me no mercy.

I am now working to hold my adversaries accountable for their actions that left me in a diabetic coma and caused anaphylaxis on May 30, 2023, while I was in my bed. The entire MyChart system showed no compassion to me or my children, only neglect, as I tried Sueing them for twenty-one million dollars due to their misdiagnosis. Alianna, did you know that the police and others concealed your siblings' dangerously low vitals, forcing us to seek help elsewhere? Finally, you strive to portray me as something I am not, something not of this world. This will only weaken you, leaving you vulnerable, out of control, and devoid of your powerful gifts and dignity for eternity on this earth. I have only ever tried to protect you from sin and the drunkard ones. I sheltered you from harm, nothing more, nothing less. I will never deny you eternal life; you remain my child, from my womb. However, you will dwell among your kin and the drunkard ones for eternity.

Adrian The Bright Star and Artist Upon Earth

Avoid following anyone's path unless it's the path of righteousness. Don't emulate those who engage in wrongdoing; instead, be a leader, as you are not meant to follow. Your heart is vibrant and radiant like a star, traversing the universe, never to be dimmed if you steer clear of sin and those who lead you astray. Regardless of what others say, you are beautiful, intelligent, and deeply missed. You have always been kind to me and offered help when no one else did. I know you care for me, and I understand why you're not around; but that's alright, you will realize and return. I never wronged you, and I was experiencing seizures, as I'm an apostle, trying to maintain the of image Allah. I'm not upset, as this was meant to be, as it's mentioned in Psalm 69 that your children may become your many enemies and doing wrong amongst you.

Psalm 69 Explained

Psalm 69 is a poignant and deeply emotional passage found in the Book of Psalms, attributed to David, one of the most significant figures in biblical history. This psalm is often categorized as a lament, a type of psalm that expresses sorrow, mourning, or regret. It is characterized by its vivid imagery and heartfelt pleas, reflecting the struggles of the psalmist in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Context and Background

The context of Psalm 69 is essential for understanding its themes and messages. Traditionally, it is believed to have been written during a time of great distress in David's life, possibly during his flight from Saul or during his later reign when he faced opposition from various enemies. The psalm opens with a cry for help, illustrating a sense of desperation and urgency. The imagery of being in deep waters and sinking mud conveys a feeling of being overwhelmed by troubles, which can resonate with anyone who has faced significant challenges in their life.

Structure and Themes

The structure of Psalm 69 can be divided into several distinct sections, each contributing to its overall message. The psalm begins with a plea for deliverance, as the psalmist calls out to God for salvation from his dire circumstances. This opening sets the tone for the rest of the psalm, which oscillates between personal lament and communal concern.

A Cry for Help

In the initial verses, the psalmist describes his plight with vivid metaphors. He feels as though he is drowning in a sea of troubles, with no solid ground beneath him. This metaphor of water symbolizes chaos and danger, evoking a sense of urgency in his cry for help. The repetition of the phrase "Save me, O God" emphasizes the depth of his despair and his reliance on divine intervention.

The Burden of Mockery

As the psalm progresses, the focus shifts to the shame and ridicule the psalmist faces from others. He expresses feelings of alienation and isolation, as those around him do not understand his suffering. The mockery he endures adds to his anguish, making his plea for help even more desperate. This theme of being misunderstood and scorned for one’s faith or struggles is a relatable experience for many believers throughout history.

A Call for Justice

In the latter part of the psalm, the tone shifts towards a call for justice. The psalmist not only seeks personal vindication but also expresses a desire for justice against those who have wronged him. He invokes God's righteous anger against his enemies, asking for their downfall. This duality of seeking personal relief while also yearning for justice reflects a deep-seated belief in God's ultimate authority and justice.

Prophetic Significance

Interestingly, Psalm 69 is also noted for its prophetic significance in the New Testament. Several verses from this psalm are quoted in the Gospels, particularly in relation to the suffering of Jesus Christ. For example, the mention of being given vinegar to drink is seen as a direct reference to the crucifixion of Jesus, linking the suffering of the psalmist with the suffering of Christ. This connection adds a layer of depth to the psalm, illustrating how the themes of despair, suffering, and eventual vindication resonate throughout the biblical narrative.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Psalm 69 serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities of human emotion and the struggles faced in life. It encapsulates the feelings of despair, alienation, and the longing for justice that many experience. Through its vivid imagery and heartfelt pleas, it invites readers to reflect on their own experiences of suffering and the hope for divine intervention. This psalm not only speaks to the individual but also resonates with the broader community of believers who seek solace and understanding in their own trials. Its enduring relevance continues to inspire and comfort those who turn to it in times of need.

Key Themes

• Desperation: The psalmist articulates a profound sense of overwhelming distress, capturing the emotional turmoil that accompanies deep despair. This feeling is not merely a fleeting moment of sadness but rather an engulfing experience that seems to consume every aspect of his existence. The imagery employed conveys a sense of sinking into an abyss, where hope appears distant and unattainable. The weight of sorrow bears down heavily, leaving the psalmist feeling isolated and abandoned, as if he is calling out into an empty void, yearning for a response that seems perpetually out of reach.

  
  

• Persecution: Within the verses, the psalmist expresses a palpable sense of being wrongfully accused and viciously attacked by enemies who seek to undermine his integrity and character. This persecution is not only physical but also psychological, as the psalmist grapples with the emotional scars left by those who mock and deride him. The sense of injustice is acute, as he feels trapped in a web of falsehoods and betrayal, where the very people he may have trusted have turned against him. This betrayal amplifies his suffering, intensifying the feelings of loneliness and despair.

  
  

• Divine Help: Throughout the text, there is a resounding and earnest plea for divine intervention and salvation. The psalmist reaches out to God with fervent cries, expressing an urgent need for help in the face of overwhelming adversity. This appeal is characterized by a deep sense of faith, as the psalmist believes that only God can provide the rescue he desperately seeks. The language is imbued with a sense of urgency and longing, reflecting a heart that is fully aware of its limitations and the necessity of relying on a higher power for deliverance from the depths of despair.

  
  

• Repentance: A critical aspect of the psalmist's journey is the acknowledgment of personal sin and the sincere desire for forgiveness. This moment of introspection reveals a deep understanding of the relationship between sin and suffering, as the psalmist recognizes that his own actions may have contributed to his current plight. The act of repentance is not merely a formality; it is a heartfelt plea for mercy, an admission of wrongdoing that paves the way for restoration. This humility in seeking forgiveness demonstrates a profound awareness of the need for divine grace and the transformative power it holds.

  
  

• Hope in God: Despite the anguish and turmoil that permeates the psalm, there exists an underlying thread of hope and unwavering faith in God’s mercy. This hope serves as a beacon in the darkness, reminding the psalmist that even in the most desperate circumstances, there is the possibility of redemption and restoration. The psalmist clings to the belief that God’s love and compassion can transcend the depths of despair, offering solace and a promise of eventual deliverance. This hope is not passive; it is an active trust in God’s character and His ability to bring about change in the midst of suffering.

  
  

Structure

1. Verses 1-4: The psalmist begins with an earnest cry for help, vividly describing the depths of his troubles and the overwhelming nature of his distress. This opening serves to set the tone for the entire psalm, establishing a sense of urgency and desperation that resonates throughout the text.

   
   

2. Verses 5-12: In this section, the psalmist engages in a heartfelt confession of sin, acknowledging the weight of his shortcomings and the suffering that has ensued. This candid reflection highlights the connection between personal failings and the trials faced, inviting readers to consider the role of repentance in the journey toward healing.

   
   

3. Verses 13-18: A powerful plea for God’s mercy and intervention emerges here, as the psalmist lays bare his soul and earnestly seeks divine assistance. These verses are marked by a sense of desperation, as the psalmist implores God to act on his behalf, reflecting a deep-seated belief in the transformative power of divine grace.

   
   

4. Verses 19-21: The psalmist vividly describes the mockery and scorn he faces from his enemies, painting a picture of the emotional toll that such ridicule takes. This section serves to underscore the isolation felt in the midst of suffering, as the psalmist grapples with the pain of being misunderstood and maligned by those around him.

   
   

5. Verses 22-28: In a fervent call for justice, the psalmist demands accountability for the wrongs inflicted upon him by his enemies. This appeal for divine justice reflects a desire for vindication and a restoration of honor, highlighting the psalmist's unwavering belief in God's ultimate authority over justice and righteousness.

   
   

6. Verses 29-36: Concluding the psalm, there is a powerful declaration of hope and a vision for restoration. The psalmist expresses confidence that God will not only hear his cries but will also respond with compassion and grace, leading to a future filled with renewal and healing. This hopeful outlook encapsulates the essence of the psalm, reminding readers of the enduring power of faith in the face of adversity.

   
   

This psalm is often cited in Christian liturgy and is recognized for its prophetic elements, as it is referenced in the New Testament in relation to the suffering of Jesus Christ. Its themes of desperation, repentance, and hope resonate deeply within the Christian faith, offering a poignant reminder of the struggles faced by believers and the unwavering promise of divine mercy and redemption. Through its rich imagery and heartfelt expressions, the psalm serves as a source of comfort and encouragement for those navigating their own trials and tribulations.

Lily the Artist of Love and Allah’s Song Messenger

Lily, the tall one, the voice I will always hear and respond to no matter what. You are my last little angel, uniquely special and intelligent. Your voice is beautiful, you read fluently, are knowledgeable, and will speak many languages as you grow. Your role is to unite all nations as one. Cherish your special gifts, as they are needed to convey the high gods' messages to the heavens, singing from pillars to the mountaintops, reaching the heavens. You possess many gifts, growing faster and wiser than me for a purpose. You are destined to reach the heavens, summoning all angels to earth for the battle against the marked ones. While mastering instruments, singing, and acquiring your deep hidden knowledge, you will praise Allah, taking Alianna's place for her sins, as she is the punisher of smite, using authority to hurt me deeply. Allah will shake the earth and heaven to unite them once again. Know, my child, you are protected on your journey and do not fear anyone or anything, I will hear your cries and be there to protect you.

In Conclusions

To my fallen angels, trust in Allah and steer clear of misguided paths. I aim to stop sin in Allah's name, hoping for your eternal life without torment. Angelique, protector of animals, stay receptive to Allah's guidance and shun evil. Adrian, Angelique, Alianna, and Lily, use your artistic talents to demonstrate Allah's existence. Adrian, inspire belief and repentance through your dreams and drawings. Alianna, release negativity and embrace the shrine I've built for you, seeking Allah's forgiveness for your deadly sins. Even though I've endured pain, it allowed me to protect you all from sin. Adrian, remain a leader and avoid wrongdoing, and Lily, your voice will unite nations and convey Allah's messages. Embrace your gifts as you will need them in the future to stop sin; I will always protect you. Psalm 69 reflects my struggles and hope for divine assistance and salvation.