My Story Ch 10: To My Family, Sperm, and Egg Donor

I listened to my sperm vessel, doing as I was told; not once have I disrespected him. My sperm vessel gave me a dictionary, telling me I am to learn each word and meaning no matter what. I smiled at him, and I did as I was told, becoming the best speller in my school, on many stages, gaining many ribbons and gifts. Now I understand the deep meaning of words, not the way of others, but of Allah. He also taught me knowledge, justice, tranquility, wisdom, and to respect my body and ancestors' beliefs as we need them to stop sin. He would always tell me I would go to college, learning all knowledge and being very smart. Therefore, I told myself at six, when I get older, I'm going to learn everything about medical science, since I always wanted to help everyone in the world to end world suffering, because no one helped me.                          

Quote: No One Is to Suffer on My Earth, but the Beast and My Many Enemies Allah Says    

My Blood Clot Egg Donor Vessel 

To begin with, my egg vessel took away my dreams more than anything by allowing earth dwellers to have their way with me as they pleased, from family members, boyfriends, the drunkard ones, and drug dealers. I even had children with two of them as a teenager, thinking that they loved me so; but I truly don’t know. Their names are Randy and Michael. Next, I was fourteen to twenty-one when they were being intimate with me. Randy is actually the reason I’m living in Wisconsin right now; he was very abusive, sold drugs, and was doing cocaine the whole time I was with him. I was kept in the house because I was underage, being hidden from his family members, especially his mother. He even got me pregnant on purpose with my daughter Alianna, so I wouldn't go back to my first baby father Michael, Angelique’s father. Typically, Randy was very overly possessive and controlling sexually, as if I was a young trophy he won to be played with at his pleasure and leisure. He also got another teenage girl pregnant, by the nickname of Cheddar, at age fifteen also. As a result, her son Jamal had died as well as mine being born in the same month. Apparently, her son died from being smothered by a family member, and mine died in his sleep.

Finally, Michael was different. I knew that he truly loved me, and he showed it by taking care of me. I actually lied about my age, and he believed me. In contrast, Randy knew I was fourteen and gave my mom money to have sex with me for drugs. Michael was a lifeguard in Country Club Hills, and I happened to drown; then he saved me, which is how I met him. He believed me when I told him my age, and we started to date each other. Then, I had Angelique, my first-born child, and next Jamahl by Michael. Also, he was not abusive or tried purposely hurting me. I hurt him really badly with Randy, but not on purpose, for I was just a child, and he didn’t understand. I was just really young at the time and was taught to stay with my first as a Muslim, so I kept going back to Randy, trying to make it work out no matter what he did wrong. Until I got older and realized he was never going to change, as his father did the same kind of abuse to his mother as well, which I call the circle of life of abuse on many dwellers.

Furthermore, I had children by numerous Earth Dwellers as I kept going back to my first, Randy. I loved him so much, I truly did; he was all I knew. He took care of me more than anyone. That’s why I didn’t understand why he kept hurting me so. 

Quote:  Knowledge is Power, But to Be Touched on as a child Causes you to Sin, From Pain deep Within, Allah Says

You Were Only My Blood Clot Egg Vessel Donor 

You Were Only My Blood Clot Egg Vessel Donor, Nothing More or Nothing Less to Me; That’s Why We Have No Bond. My Egg Vessel Ensured My Four Girls Would Be Raised Right, Staying Virgins Until Marriage, Gaining Only Powerful Knowledge and Wisdom: Making This World a Better Place for Everyone to Dwell Once More. No Matter What You Allowed to Happen to Me, Having Pain Only Caused Me to Become Stronger and Much Wiser; Receiving Gifts of Power from Allah to See Truly Who I Am and Stop Sin, Before I Perish Having to Be Reborn Again Upon This Earth. 

 I Will Lift the Evilness Out of You and Your Lover 

For my egg vessel, I will lift the evilness out of your body, making you free of eternal misery and despair; I caused upon you and your lover Nick as you did upon me and my father. As you made Prophet Muhammad speak through me, by Allah; as she saw what I saw, you went through what I went through, not seeing clearly. As you are one of the drunkard ones and did not deserve the wicked and drunkard ones' wrongdoings upon you. I could feel your pain, that’s why you let me feel your pain too, but not your other children you adored.  

Deep from My Heart to My Family 

You never know who you are, or what you are, until you have been tortured, tormented, humiliated, and judged in every way that you can think of. Just like the prophet Jesus Christ, our Savior. I only suffered dearly because of poverty, power, money, judgment, and greed, losing my sperm vessel, kin, and children that I trusted so dearly. In which, Patrick Wingard is the vessel of my father, as he was shot by the wicked ones, being born paralyzed, having to learn how to move and talk all over again. His name should be changed to Latif, as he was a part of our salvation upon Earth.

The Struggle of the Forsaken:

We had no one to care for us, no one to save us, or no one to believe in us fallen angels. Not even our own kids, Christians, and Muslim kin; allowing our torture to go on and on, like a fiddle being played with until death. Until you had nothing left to give, but many blood clots forming through your veins and body. Deeply flowing through your veins, because you are not just considered one, yet many. As for your enemies standing strong to hold you back; using their power, strength, force, money, greed, lies, wickedness, dishonesty, judgment, and false Christianity stripping your dignity away. To keep these words hidden from dwellers and the universe. Willingly mocking you like you don’t see everything in all, so you mock them right back.  

For All the Earth Dweller That Did Me Wrong

Didn’t you see you lost it all, and you didn’t even see it coming? From all of your bad, impure deeds upon this Earth, especially the ones that were done to me and my fallen angels, out of spite. Let my enemies do to me as they please. As my job is done here, you will all fall through the cracks of Earth, never to be seen, heard, or touched upon, just like you did to my fallen angels and me. In a fiery, furious pit of hell is all you will see. 

Quote: This is why Allah says money should be burned, at all costs, and never talked about again on Earth, Allah says         

Many Meanings of Allah 

I tried finding out what the names of Allah are and the meanings of each. There are over 99 names, and each has a meaning that is very deep to my heart: The Trustworthy, The Merciful, The Creator, The Protector; everything that I try to be to make this world a better place. To bind heaven to earth, once more showing this is not the way it should be on Allah’s earth. Also, I tried understanding my name's meaning in the Quran, to read each passage, and it’s mentioned over 879 times; all in different forms, which all have different meanings like to feel secure, entrusted, and believed. My name in the Quran means trust, honesty, loyalty, caring, safety, and justice for all. I am the safe one, the one to save all from harm and poverty as it was done to me as well, like Queen Warrior Amina from Africa in Nigeria, and Zazzau, who was born in 1533 and died in 1610 at the age of seventy-seven years old.

Then, I looked over, staring at my wall, which read, “She believed she could, so she did.” How I tried so hard to make my home look like paradise on earth, all by myself, keeping to myself, away from evil, the jinn's, and the drunken ones. As I bite my lips filled with blisters, tasting blood; as I write these words in pain; showing I'm getting closer to revelation, as Allah speaks through me, using my name Allah for salvation. Showing me many signs of revelations, whispering in my ear to speak through me; as my ancestors' blood clots flow through my bones, veins, and body.  

To All Earth Dweller, Repent Your Sins

All dwellers, repent your sins. Stay away from the drunkard kin, evil, and wicked ones; stay pure, like a white cloak never to be worn. The unrighteous are not to live on Earth, but to dwell in a fiery pit of hell for so much pain on Earth from all wrongdoings caused by the Jinns and earth dwellers.

I Heard the voices of the Wicked Ones and Allah 

For exactly 24 years, I wanted to tell someone I heard the voices of the wicked ones; more of them were good, but fewer of them were evil. The devil knew I was the one; he tried to get me to do some bad deeds, but I knew it was him. Allah steered me the right way. I don't think I'm him, but he speaks within me, as I feel his pain for his dying Earth and Prophet Jesus Christ. He has kept me safe from all harm and wrongdoing for enduring so much pain for him, as mast cells grow deep inside my bones and veins throughout my body. I have many blood clots of my ancestors burning on torches, being called witches for being left-handed and knowledgeable about all.

Keeping Me Safe from Harm, But Barely Hold, as I Am Many in One. For If I Did Not Know the Devil Existed, He Would Have Won This Battle, But I Knew of His Whispers in Your Ear Were Ever So Deadly; As I Have Power of Knowledge, Wisdom, and Justice for All. Knowing This Is Why Murderers Kill Amongst Each Other, As the Devil Talks Within, Steering Earth Dwellers from Allah; To Stay on This Earth, As Long as He Can. Wreaking Havoc on Allah's Earth for Eternal Slumber on All; for he can feel humbled thinking he will win this last battle and not fall. Only if he knew he picked the wrong apostle to play with in all as I am not illiterate but have knowledge of all.

All of sin made sense when I asked for help, and I died over and over again; every summer from glucose shooting through my body. I hugged my fallen angels, and I held them really tight, telling them I loved them so. As for me, I died but woke back up crying. I know I died over and over again, without a soul or anyone to protect me, not even the drunkard ones of my kin, Muslim, or my Christian family. Just like they did Jesus Christ, fallen angels, and dwellers. For I woke up screaming, crying, scared, lonely, and confused with nowhere to turn but to Allah. Saying "Oh Lord save me, oh Lord," crying, and a deep within my voice. A voice that did not belong to me, or of this world, but to the universe. Muhammad the Prophet, the Chosen One, as he is the last messenger for Allah.                                

YOU CAN'T KILL ME                                            

NO ONE CAN KILL ME                

I ALWAYS COME BACK  

I died every summer from glucose that runs through my veins and body, causing so many blood clots to form as my ancestors. This prevents me from feasting upon the Un purist food on this earth. The chemicals binding within the impurity of this earth have gifted me wisdom and the power of knowledge. Now I am much stronger than ever before, revealing all mysteries to all from the Quran, as the atoms of the universe flow through my veins and my body, just as all was made on earth, helping me grow stronger, powerful, immortal. Not having to feast, making revelations happen upon the universe, as I have Egyptian and Ashkenazi descendants DNA running through my body and veins. In which will cause many earthquakes and destructions to happen upon earth causing all earth dwellers stumble as they refuse to listen and obey the prophets.

As I spoke these words, I felt Allah's presence within me. I reached out to Yolanda, my Christian relative, as I had no one else to trust or rely on, having no family. I confided in her about my deteriorating vision and requested her to read a verse to me. Allah would not permit me to see the words in a Christian Bible. I needed to understand what Allah meant about not being seen, touched, or looked upon, as these words echoed in my mind while I cried alone. Yet, something deep inside warned me against trusting my Christian relative.

These words were completely unfamiliar to me until now. I was repeatedly told that you must not be seen, touched, or looked upon for a very long time. My beauty and youth show as we age slowly but gracefully, as the blood of Noah continues to flow in the veins of fallen angels, causing the Aad people to still live upon Earth. As we descend to Earth, preying on its inhabitants, we carry his blood through our lineage. Only the blood of both an evil and a good person can create such a fallen angel.

Even when I felt lonely, wondering why he gave me an invisible disease to be alone, tortured and judged from grinding within my bones crying no one will ever want me or could love me. O Lord, I'm so broken. Allah will always kindly tell me these words to calm me down. All I need is knowledge, my children knowledge, and to stay away from the wicked and the drunken ones; that what Allah told me. This is why I always went back to college gaining much knowledge. But it also makes me happy to see my full potentials as I love medical, chemistry, psychology, ancestry, and science so much. Wishing to help all earth dwellers, because this is how and why I suffered so dearly. 

He even advised me to let my children go, suggesting that I should be alone and read the final verses of the Quran. He believes that by gaining knowledge, we can gain the power to defeat the wicked ones allowing me to return home once again. However, I can't and won't follow Allah's guidance on this matter, although I do wish to return home, as I have far more enemies than friends here on earth who are slandering my name. 

From having an invisible disease and knowing of Allah, the drunkards and the wicked ones that whisper in your ear are ever so dearly, but others are deadly. Allah repeats whispers in my ear repeatedly until I do what I am told, causing more blisters and pain in fasting as everyone else feasts, if I don't listen to him. Causing me to taste my own blood and sweat from the blood clots flowing through my veins in my body for being disobedient, thirsting for water and red wine, feasting on apples and protein. Trying to heal my veins and heart once more to live a little longer in vain. Allah is not done with me just yet, so I choose to put both children in school to follow Allah's wishes, reading and writing the last words of knowledge for everlasting life on earth, to bind the earth in heaven once more.

My Father, Brother, and Son Elijah Muhammad

My Brother Is Not Willing to Follow in My Footsteps, As, I Was to Walk in My Father’s Footsteps; as for he Only follow the Evil, And Drunkard Ones, Of His Kin’s. As I Could Not Protect Him from Money, and Greed of My Sperm Donor Vessel Riches; That Was Left to Me. For Praising Him, And Being a Good Little Angel, Until the Day He Slept Peacefully. I Don’t Have my sperm vessel for Guidance Anymore. Leaving Me Torn That I Had to Let him Go. Truly, I Am to Say, I’m my brother Mother; More Than His Sister; As, I Am Many in One, As Many Blood Clots, That Flow Through My bones, Veins, And Body.   

 Praise Your Sperm and Egg Donors

Praise your sperm and egg donors, fallen angels, as this had to happen in order to stop sin and the wicked one on Earth. Praise the ones that brought you into this world, no matter their wrongdoings. For sin is strong and not to be played with, like the jinns. For sin had to happen on Earth to bind Heaven once more; for fallen angels' sins and the wicked one with the blue eyes, as they are so rare and not of this world. You know who you are, the wicked one that threatened to pull my blood clot child out of my womb, you remember who you are. The deadly one that kills and murders for what you please, like you did upon me; with the cops and hospitals, bolstering with lies and deceit. May you burn in hell where you will burn for eternity, never to see my child again. Once you read my words of wisdom, poetry, and music that's been written for 24 years and so forth, you know that Allah dwells in me, as I am balance, love, beauty, justice, and spiritual guidance of Allah number 69 and a Libra. The one who believed and achieved to make a difference for all who suffered from poverty and the wicked ones.

Quote: The Wicked One, Who Kills at All Costs; to Get as He Pleases, Money, Greed, Power; and Authority Using His Angry Voice